Compiled by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: guineapig added transcribing by: Eric Aasen (Note: The earlier unseen elements of this occurrence are revealed in bluish book.)
Chandler: Alright, therefore I’m back in senior school, i am standing in the exact middle of the cafeteria, and that I understand I am totally naked.
Chandler: out of the blue, the phone actually starts to ring. Today I don’t know how to handle it, every person begins considering me.
Chandler: Finally, I figure I would better address they, a nd as it happens it is my mother, and that’s very-very unusual, because- she never ever phone calls me!
Ross: I just feel like individuals reached down my throat, got my smaller bowel, taken it out of my lips and tied they around my neck.
Monica: Oh really, making sure that hysterical call i acquired from a lady at sobbing 3:00 A.M., „I’ll most likely never have grandchildren, I’ll most likely never have grandkids.“ had been just what? An incorrect wide variety?
Joey: Alright Ross, see. You are feeling most discomfort immediately. You are upset. You’re hurting. Should I inform you just what response is?
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went along to the building and you also just weren’t here and then this guy with a big hammer stated you could be here and you are, you happen to be!
Monica: (aiming at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this might be Rachel, another Lincoln tall survivor. (to Rachel) that is everybody, this can be Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my buddy Ross?
(They go to hug but Ross’s umbrella opens. He rests back off defeated once more. A minute of silence employs as Rachel rests in addition to people count on this lady to explain.)
Rachel: Oh Jesus. better, it begun about a half-hour ahead of the marriage. I became for the room where we had been keeping all the provides, and I is examining this gravy motorboat. This really attractive Lamauge gravy vessel. Whenever out of the blue- (into waiter that brought the lady coffee)sugary ’n‘ Lo?- I discovered that I happened to be a lot more turned-on from this gravy watercraft than by Barry! Immediately after which I managed to get really freaked out, and that is whenever it hit myself: exactly how much Barry seems like Mr. Potato Head. Y’know, i am talking about, i usually understood featured common, but. Anyhow, i recently needed to escape around, and that I going 
questioning ‚exactly why in the morning we achieving this, and which was we doing this for?‘. (to Monica) very anyhow I just don’t understand where to go, and that I realize both you and You will find kinda drifted apart, you’re the sole people I know whom resided within the town.
Rachel: Ooh, I found myself kinda hoping that wouldn’t end up being an issue. [Scene: Monica’s Apartment, most people are here and enjoying a Spanish detergent on television and so are trying to figure out what is going on.]
It’s simply two people heading out to food and- lacking sex
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push the girl along the staircase! Push the girl down the stairways! Push the lady along the staircase!
I just do not like your
Rachel: C’mon Daddy, tune in to me personally! It’s like, its like, each one of my life, everyone has always informed me, ‚You’re a footwear! You are a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe!‘. And today i recently ceased and I stated, ‚imagine if I do not wanna be a shoe? Can you imagine I wanna become a- a purse, y’know? Or a- or a hat! No, I am not claiming i really want you purchasing me personally a hat, I’m stating i’m a ha- its a metaphor, Daddy!